The purpose of counseling is to help people who are experiencing conflict and emotional pain achieve resolution. In general, this is done through conversation, which involves the client sharing their thoughts, feelings, and problems and the counselor sharing their perspective based on their training and experience.
It is important that counseling be understood as a collaborative venture. Both counselor and client have work to do. It is the responsibility of the client to bring their conflict and pain to awareness, and to open up to the counselor with honesty and vulnerability. This entails not letting fear, self reproach, shame, or embarrassment stop them from sharing their thoughts and feelings as much as possible. It is the responsibility of the counselor to meet the client with reciprocal honesty and trustworthiness. This means not judging, being compassionate, and maintaining objectivity. The counselor is also responsible for bringing all of their education, training, professional experience, and their own personal growth to the process.
The counseling process is unique to each individual. Each individual comes to counseling with a unique way in which they have learned to process life. Some people can more easily talk about themselves than can others. Some are more in touch with their emotions and inner experience than are others. Some have previous counseling experience or personal growth work upon which they can build. The counseling process will be different depending on these types of factors. The nature of the problem for which the client is seeking help, including the severity and duration of the problem, also influences the counseling process.
These same factors greatly influence and account for change in the counseling process. In some cases, change can occur rapidly. In most cases, change involves more time. Counseling is not a hard science or a linear process. We are not dealing with hard, cold facts. As we really begin to get into a client’s crises or concerns, we move into the client’s unique world, a world based on individual interpretation, individual history, and a very personal point of view. There, we are apt to discover long term and much more deep-seated, unresolved issues. We also find patterns of thinking and behavior which we discover have repeated themselves throughout the client’s life. The client’s initial reason for seeking help is usually just one, current expression of larger life issues. There are usually multiple layers of issues involved. This does not mean that the client has to address them all. It does mean that all of those things are part of the process and also influence change.
Counseling Technique
Technique is always secondary to, and led by, the goal of counseling. It is the responsibility of the counselor to employ whatever means available to help the client become more aware of themselves and the issues that are creating a problem or crisis in their life. That will differ from individual to individual and from situation to situation. Counseling may look like just talking things out. The counselor has a perspective that is not bound by the client’s frame of reference. New thoughts from this outside source may be enough to enhance awareness and elicit change. Usually, simply talking is not enough. There may be unconscious resistance that is blocking that individual from becoming more aware of what is happening in their life. In those cases, the counselor might employ techniques such as role playing, exaggeration of certain aspects of the situation, teaching skills, or assigning homework. What is important about techniques is that they are used to raise awareness. The counselor should work to see what might be effective with any given client at any particular time, but the client’s willingness and commitment are the most powerful determinants of how effective the process will be.
Counseling can be an extremely powerful process and a deeply rewarding experience. Getting help from someone outside of your world and outside of your personal frame of reference is very revealing and can be very liberating. It can change your life. However, it is not a quick fix or a substitute making other changes that will make your life better. The worst that can be said about counseling is that it can be painful and confusing at times. What is much more true is that it is an exciting journey toward an incredible destination….you!
Keith Hergenhahn 